Back to Real Life - A Management Guide in 5 Not-So-Easy Steps!

Settling into real life is always a challenge when you return from something so profound that it changed you... and the people you are with in your every day life didn't experience what YOU experienced.

A few years ago I went with the JWRP (Jewish Women's Renaissance Project) on one of those kinds of trip to Israel. I came home swimming with new ideas and beautiful thoughts that I wanted to share with Alan.  He wasn't exactly in the same headspace as me, and pretty well just patted me on the head and said "that's nice, dear".  It wasn't until a year later when he went on the men's version of this trip that he was finally in the same place mentally.  I remember the day he called me, half way through his trip, and he said to me "I GET IT".  It was really an amazing moment for us both, as individuals, and as a couple.

Finally the same headspace, different continents. Thank God for Facetime!

This time though, we did our Free People World trip together.  Alan and I have a very strong relationship.  We really LIKE one another, and love spending time together.  We have worked hard to get to this place, and we work hard to maintain it.  This trip really allowed us to grow together and individually, at the same time.

Our kids were NOT with us on this trip, and mostly roll their eyes at us whenever we try to do anything that they consider "hippy dippy bullshit".  And it's ALL hippy dippy bullshit to them .  Teenagers.  AMIRIGHT?!

Don't take eye rolling as an insult.  At least you know they are listening.  Ish.  

So, to reintegrate ourselves back into society and with those  who have NOT had the life changing epiphanies that we have had, one must figure out a way to deal with people without losing your zen, losing your shit or losing your mind.

1. Realize they aren't where you are and that's OK. They don't HAVE to be where you are.  Maybe they will get it, maybe they won't.  It's not YOUR responsibility to MAKE THEM SEE IT.  The more you try and force it, the more they will resist.  And my kids are fucking BRILLIANT resisters.

2. Take it slow but show the way. If you start utilizing the techniques you learned, just yourself, eventually they will notice that you are not reacting the same way to them and their attitudes.   Like Jack Sparrow said, "The problem isn't the problem.  The problem is your ATTITUDE about the problem.  And he's right.  It's all in the way we think about it.

3. Relax. Don't try to force things.  You aren't going to be this zen mama all the time.  You WILL screw up and you WILL lose your shit sometimes.  Remember that you are divinely human and fabulously flawed, as unYogi Stephanie Lewis has said to me many, many MANY times.  It's an important lesson.

4. Keep plugging away at it. If (when) you fuck up, own that shit and move on.  You know better now.  Doesn't mean you are going to be perfect, it takes PRACTICE to bring your zen back.  Just take a few minutes to yourself, do some deep breathing and LET IT GO.  Which brings me to number 5...

Try.  We all know how fucking hard it is.  Do it anyway. 

5. Let it go.  Pretty self explanatory, no? Stop beating yourself up over a mistake. Own it.  Apologize for it  Accept it.  Move on and strive to do better next time.

Just keep plugging away at it. Keep doing things that replenish your soul.  Stop feeding your brain junk food.  And remember.. you are a WORK IN PROGRESS.